Policyholder's Name: Zorvath, Lord of the Realm
Policy Effective Date: 3000 BCE
Policy Term: 1000 years, renewable upon payment of $1000 per annum in gold doubloons
• Dimensional displacement insurance: 1000x coverage for all dimensional rifts
• Time paradox insurance: 500x coverage for all temporal loops
• Reality distortion insurance: 2000x coverage for all reality warping events
• Existential dread insurance: Not covered, because, let's be real, you're already dead
• Interdimensional travel insurance: Only available for customers who can prove they've been to at least 3 dimensions
Next policy number: #9005